A friend’s grandson recently broke up with his girlfriend. My friend shared this with me and, because it seemed so relevant to those whose treasured relationships come to an end, I thought I’d pass it on-with his permission. Here’s the advice he offered.
I hope this note finds you in good spirits. I understand that you and Kayla may have hit a big bump in the road. These things are never easy. Of course, you remember the last time this happened and how it hurt. As I say, it’s not easy.
You might want to share some of what you’re feeling with your Dad. The men in our family are a little short when it comes to sharing feelings-maybe you need to break the mold a little!
Every man I know has been through similar experiences, and very few of them fail to come out on the other side as better men. The only fact I can share is that this will likely not be the last time this happens. It’s sad, but true.
One danger is that some guys let this have a negative impact that could mess up future relationships, closing themselves off to future intimate relationships for fear that they might be hurt again. If you let that happen you will not be able to experience the warmth and thrill of a loving relationship because you were not open to it.
A wise man once said, “It is better to have love and lost than never to have loved at all.” This was a wise man: Stay open to loving relationships, give of yourself, trust in others and do not fear being hurt.
There are some truisms to be taken from this even if you can’t see it now:
You will get through this
You will love again
You will grow emotionally from this
You will smile about this in the future
You will help a friend in the future who goes through this with sound advice
You are a really warm and caring person
You will rely on your moral and intellectual foundation to get beyond this
You family loves you unconditionally and for all eternity.
Let me know if you want to chat. Hang in there.
Strikes me that my friend’s advice goes beyond allowing a bad relationship experience to harden us to the next one that may be entirely different. What advice might you give? Feel free to leave a comment…